• We have worked to emphasize harder that choking is not on the default consent list.
• We now have reports that prey who have opted into choking are going under-choked.
• …while still having occasional reports that prey who didn’t opt into choking sometimes have people reach for their throats.
• We’re trying to resolve this with things like cheatsheets, but the process is ongoing.

I would like to hear more from experienced kinksters, but I think this shows why negotiating who will do what in advance while everyone is fully dressed and sober is a big part of kink culture (and so is demonstrating skills and building trust in less risky scenarios). If you want to be ravaged in a specific way, your pursuers can give you that if the focus of the day is on you, not on you and dozens of other people with beautiful individual desires and boundaries in a chaotic environment. It also sounds like many of the predators are not very experienced.

Ivy Astrix has followed up with a blog post.

A male kinkster and coder responded: “This is a tough one, but I’m going to fall on the side of the OP because the event is heavily gendered. Any event that embraces the concept that men are inherently predatory and women are inherently prey teaches the wrong things about roleplay, or human beings.”

I hope that anyone who wants to explore rape fantasies finds people who can help them explore safely, and that anyone who gets physically or emotionally hurt at one of these events can find help and support.

Snacks were set out on a stovetop.

Incompetence kink

Given the organizer’s abysmal response to your own assault, I wonder about all the things that didn’t rise to the level of an incident report, or that participants didn’t even bring to the organizers because they think it was a them problem (“I should be able to take this much pain” / “I don’t want to lose access to this community” / “but he’s So Important For The Movement” / “I could have been clearer”, etc).

An orgy and no one standing off to the side making sure everything is ok? That sounds fucking stupid. Allowing people’s personal info, including PHOTOS, to be shared with a whole email list? And we’re supposed to believe them that they’re the world’s smartest people?