Mr Lovenstein | Mastodon | Patreon
Secret Panel 💦

Transcript
4 Panel Comic
Panel 1: A doctor lifts up a healthy baby in front of a tired mom
Doctor: Welcome to the world, little guy!
Panel 2: The doctor holds the child up in front of a tablet
Doctor: You need to create a life account
Panel 3: The baby is frustrated as the tablet rejects the input
Tablet: Sorry, that username is taken
Panel 4: The baby facepalms as the tablet needs even more info to create the account
Tablet: You need to make an email account for Two-Factor Authentication
Secret Panel: The baby sweats as the tablet continues
Tablet: Enjoy your 30 day trial of life. After-which, there is a monthly charge.


As an aside, I don’t see any reason why we couldn’t have a system where the combination of someone’s name and birth year had to be unique. This would make identifying unique people a snap. Your full name and your birth year would be enough to find your file at the doctor’s office, bank, or literally anywhere else.
Even assuming people only choose to pick from the 500 top names, this allows 125 million unique combinations every year following the English trinomial naming convention. It rises to 62.5 billion combinations if one follows the tetranomial Hispanic naming convention. The issue of running out of names or duplicate names would almost never come up. And parents could just reserve a name for their child if they were so bothered.