Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

• Emo Philips

Where do you all live where there are only two races?

I’m surprised the joke didn’t go straight for gingers…

You can take the caveman out of the cave, but can’t take the cave out of the caveman…

We could all look exactly the same and all be Christian, and the Protestants and Catholics would gang up on the Baptist’s and Assembly of God and kill every one they can find.

… and they’d by delighted in their handiwork and brag to their grandchildren with pride.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirty_Years'_War

Eight million dead in the 1600s, they didn’t even have AK-47s. Protestant vs. Catholic. Same race.

on the shitpost meter, you score 45%

I’d go to Walmart again after 5 years.

We will all kill each other, as there will be no one to do all the shitty jobs white people feel to entitled for. So nothing gets cleaned, nothing gets repaired, nothing gets built, logistics fail as ships have no personnel except white captains, politicians and businessmen get withdrawal effects because they cannot get their cocain anymore, etc. The only upside is that fascists like Trump, Musk, AfD, etc. have no purpose anymore, so their hate a fear spreading becomes useless and all that is left when the wall of hate falls is just failure.

Start leaving my house unlocked again.

Edit: before all the morally righteous people lose their heads in a shitposting community I suggest you see my previous comment regarding this stoopid screengrab over on the politicalmemes community.

In my comment history that’s my previous post - it starts with the same sentence as this one.

I’d miss my wife 🥲

It is hilarious how accurate this is. Coming from a predominantly white country, our peoole have their own way to separate us in groups and hate each other.

I wouldn’t say that POCs wouldn’t do the same. It is just the humanity like this. Any big group if people would find ways to be grouped and to hate other groups. Only small groups will be friendly to each other.

Check to see if the Asian people are still okay.

A more cynical answer is to buy as much property on the south side of Chicago as possible before the prices skyrocket.

Okay, aside from the obvious “what the fuck happened to all the people” racist Thanos snap of it all, my real question is this: who is left behind? Because “white” is a made up category. I have 2% African ancestry, do I stay or do I go now? I have some level I don’t remember if Asian ancestry, less than 5 percent. I also have higher than average neanderthal DNA. Does that part count as white? They’re likely European Neanderthals… Go far enough back, obviously, and all humans are African descended.

Where do we draw the line? Because honestly, if there’s some weird racist god out there snapping away people based on their DNA, I need to know the rules so I can make proper arrangements!

Grieve my black friends